movingon,lettinggo. mythoughts have been of that and about that for a few weeks now, and i still haven't quite come to terms with it. maybe there is something the matter with me. L says on her blog - think less, love more. i think it's the opposite with me, i should love less and think more. i dont know if that's right but i guess life will be a lot easier.

dreamsareforweaving. i woke up to a strangely happyfying dream this morning, and spent the next 2 hours willing myself to continue the dream. but it didnt work. bought a tshirt that says: live 2 dream from chaddie yesterday. i think i am strange & weird like P. i am easily contented & amused with the simple things of life, but yet, i have big dreams of changing the world through my small hands. while i am readily contented with a family of my own, i also want to travel the world, fight poverty, child abuse, sex trade and spread the gospel to the ends of the world.

closure. R needed a closure from R to move on, in either direction. since i can't rely on alcohol, i will need double portions of courage and an escape route. K says that FRIENDS is a reflection of what we want in life - for me, not quite, perhaps just some parts. disney still rocks my socks because you can always rely on a happy ending, although i do realise that it's a tad toooo far from reality, or maybe not. J, please come again quickly, but but but, please wait till more people are saved!

and as i type now, L is leaving on a jetplane. i miss her already, strangely. the knowledge of not having her around weakens me. but anyhow, thanks for the friendship which makes so much difference.

i'm glad God made my heart to be a tad more delicate, a tad more fragile, a tad more understanding, a tad more sensitive. tonight, i was rather surprised that i cried with A as she shared her sorrows. afterwhich, we were mostly silent and yet we both refuse to put the phone away. indeed, the best conversations can be silence. dear friend, i hope i divided ur sorrow, and eased ur burden. i like what cs lewis said in fourloves, that friendship has no value.. just like art and philosophy. he says that man do not need friendship to survive, but rather, friendship gives value to survival. ditto.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off th heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?
Who has understood the mind of the Lord,
or instructed Him as His counselor?
Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten Him,
and who taught Him the right way?
Who was it that taught Him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

Is40

how big, how great are you God?
i can only imagine.

thankyou God, that you always come to comfort me :)

there is a peace i've come to know
though my heart and flesh may fail
there is an anchor for my soul

i will sing
it is well.


Jesus have overcome
and the grave is overwhlemed
the victory is won
He is risen from the dead

and i will rise
when He calls my name
no more sorrow
no more pain

i will rise
on eagle's wings
before my God
fall on my knees

and rise.

i will rise.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

habakkuk 3