and so my soul rejoices

a romantic story.

2011-09-01T00:43:00.004+10:00

it was said that while he was steward over great things, greater was his loneliness. so he was brought before millions, in search for one to fill the gap. but such was his disappointment when the grueling task was finally completed, for he can find no one. therefore he was placed to sleep, and out of his bones & flesh she was made. when he finally awoke & laid eyes on her, his heart glowed with inspiration as he broke out into a poetry of praise.

God's (continuing) work in my heart

2011-08-27T13:35:00.003+10:00

"For when God rules in a human heart, though He may sometimes have to remove certain of its native authorities altogether, He often continues others in their offices and, by subjecting their authority to His, gives it for the first time a firm basis" - cs lewis

2011-04-13T23:38:00.002+10:00

sometimes i like to listen to songs that are sung in a foreign language, lyrics which makes absolutely no sense to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cAbCjC57K0&feature=player_embedded

the greater happiness

2011-03-19T04:14:00.001+11:00

"I believe all men have this in common: that they want to be happy. They do not all agree on what brings the greatest happiness, but they do all long to have it. And this longing is not bad. It is good. Evil consists in trying to find happiness in ways that displease and dishonor God. Goodness consists in finding happiness in ways that please and honor God. We can conceive of a world in which we might be called upon to do right at the expense of our ultimate happiness. But that is not the world in which we live. God has established this world in such a way that doing good through faith in Christ always leads to greater happiness eventually. We do not live in a world where we must choose between our eternal happiness and God's glory! God has created this world and its moral laws in such a way that the more we choose to glorify God, the happier we will be." - john piper on desiringgod.org.

2011-03-12T03:09:00.001+11:00

craving for happiness.

best song ever, chris rice

2011-03-06T02:29:00.002+11:00

"maybe i will be on my feet

in a crowd of strangers & things

the spotlight is on someone else

but i will feel like i'm part of the show

the feeling is magic

and why does it bring together like this?"

2011-02-26T03:56:00.001+11:00

Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in an answer?

2011-02-22T02:07:00.001+11:00

resisting chocolates is the hardest thing to do.

2011-02-08T01:51:00.003+11:00

hello shuks,

you will be diligent & thrifty

and save lots of money

so that you may: http://www.ladyironchef.com/2010/02/14/boathouse-singapore/

hello to whoever you are

the one who said that the root of all evil is money,

you obviously don't read food blogs in the middle of the night.

i might be stingy to a road bike, a toy camera or a kindle... but

hey hello glorious food,

i will not be stingy to you!

hee

if i ever think myself silly again,

2011-02-07T02:02:00.003+11:00

better is one thought of You,

than a thousand thoughts elsewhere.

in the process

2011-02-05T18:40:00.002+11:00

the challenge is not in determining what is the right thing to do. rather, it's in ensuring God is still my king throughout the journey. quoting CS Lewis, 'very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself, but just this power of always trying again.'

2011-02-02T01:18:00.001+11:00

i feel like watching a nice movie

with someone clever.

happy salad.

2011-02-01T02:20:00.004+11:00

i feel happy, like a kid who's finally learnt to plait her hair. i just packed salad into a lunch box for work tomorrow! little achievements. it's a trivial matter, i know. but it makes me warm & fuzzy inside, to see the red cherry tomatoes & bright orange baby carrots sitting on a tower of romanie & iceberg lettuce leaves :)

the rain may have been dreary,

but it has taught me to appreciate little happy things.

the cup of hot tea wouldn't have tasted as good, and

salad-making wouldn't have been as happy-fying

if not for the chilling gloomy rain.

on quotes

2011-01-30T01:45:00.003+11:00

Once you have flown, you will walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward; for there you have been, there you long to return. - leonardo da vinci

correct me if i'm wrong, but i guess the beauty of quotes lie in how succinctly they can portray a mixture of emotions and understandings that a single word will not be able to describe.

let me run to You.

2011-01-30T00:16:00.003+11:00

Did you ever talk to God above?

Tell him that you need a friend to love.

Pray in Jesus' name believing

that God answers prayer.

Have you told Him all your cares and woes?

Every tiny little fear He knows.

You can know He'll always hear

And He will answer prayer.

You can whisper in a crowd to Him

You can cry when you're alone to HIm

You don't have to pray out loud to Him;

He knows your thoughts.

On a lofty mountain peak, He's there.

In a meadow by a stream, He's there.

Anywhere on earth you go,

He's been there from the start.

Find the answer in His Word; it's true.

I'll be strong because He walks with me.

By His faithfulness He'll change me, too.

God answers prayer.

the essence of movies

2010-12-24T20:14:00.001+11:00

"i don't know if i have what it takes

for everybody's regular plan"

2010-12-12T12:16:00.002+11:00

"Holiness, not happiness, is the chief end of man."

- Oswald Chambers

His pockets of grace

2010-11-30T02:51:00.002+11:00

life is hard,

and

it's good;

because God remembers to put

special people along the way.

these reliable mighty warriors

sustain inspire comfort encourage.

praise God that

this narrow path i'm on

has room for friends.

i think the mountaintop experience was made better by the company.

2010-11-07T19:06:00.001+11:00

i know of a quote that may come in handy now.

" Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation"

- Eric Hoffer

2010-11-04T02:56:00.002+11:00

wahh, it's been so long since i last blogged.

anyway, it's getting harder to understand the graciousness of uncertainty lately.

i am getting impatient with life.

i know it's bad, but i can't help it.

sigh.

growth

2010-09-13T00:42:00.003+10:00

someone innocently pointed out to me that it's the third quarter of the year already. haha, my heart did a sigh upon hearing that. has it been that long, time goes by so quickly. an all too familiar phrase, i bet. repeated year after years and month after months. perhaps time seem to be going by quickly because nothing in the span has made time worthwhile. hmm, but it couldn't be, cos life has been pretty exciting the last i recounted. i learnt to swim, took my first dive, made a few short trips out of town. ice-skating, roller-blading, night-cycling, bowling, pooling, lan-ing. ha! i discovered quite a bit of things, went to places i have never gone before. i started working, got settled in a new church, filled my schedule from morning to night, made quite a number of new friends...

so... perhaps it's the lack of internal growth & character development. cos i cant say today that i have matured in thought and fine-tuned in character since 9 months ago. perhaps i have been too busy trying to 'settle in'. hm, something that i need to be more conscious of in the rest of the year to come? gotta catch up.

I will sprinkle clean water on you,

and you will be clean;

I will cleanse you from all your impurities

and from all your idols.

I will give you a new heart

and put a new spirit in you;

I will remove from you your heart of stone

and give you a heart of flesh.

And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.

- Ezekiel 36:25-27

i want to...

2010-09-06T00:52:00.002+10:00

do:

- a missions trip. step out of my comfort zone, meet the needs of people around me.

- grow an orange tree, or a plant of some sort

- fly a kite, for the first time

- have a picnic on a nice grass patch - the menu must have crackers with dips, cheeses and dessert wine

- play citadels while waiting for our homemade pizza to rise in the oven

- watch 'big fish' at a sleepover

- watch a helium balloon go up into the sky

- run a marathon, eventually. because i'm so inspired by the Greeks

- watch a musical that i can sing along to

- learn the 'thriller' dance, and do it like jennifer garner in '13 going on 30'

- go onto a yatch, sail away & fish!

- horseriding!

visit:

- the rooftop of a skyscraper at night

- a lavender farm & indulge in the purpleness of it

- grand castles, or its ruins in europe

- many cities around the world - Athens, New York, Venice, Rome, Vatican, Tokyo, Vienna...

learn:

- the guitar, for God.

- to bake: cheesecakes, scones, hot chocolate lava cakes, eggtarts

- the sign language, because silence is golden

- driving. seriously, it's about time.

so much to do, and so little time.

what i like about hope

2010-08-21T17:46:00.001+10:00

HOPE
by Max Lucado
It's one of the most compelling narratives in all of Scripture. So fascinating is the scene, in fact, that Luke opted to record it in detail.
Two disciples are walking down the dusty road to the village of Emmaus. Their talk concerns the crucified Jesus. Their words come slowly, trudging in cadence with the dirge-like pace of their feet.
"I can hardly believe it. He's gone."
"What do we do now?"
"It's Peter's fault, he shouldn't have ... "
Just then a stranger comes up from behind and says, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing you. Who are you discussing?"
They stop and turn. Other travelers make their way around them as the three stand in silence. Finally one of them asks, "Where have you been the last few days? Haven't you heard about Jesus of Nazareth?" And he continues to tell what has happened. (Luke 24:13-24)
This scene fascinates me—two sincere disciples telling how the last nail has been driven in Israel's coffin. God, in disguise, listens patiently, his wounded hands buried deeply in his robe. He must have been touched at the faithfulness of this pair. Yet he also must have been a bit chagrined. He had just gone to hell and back to give heaven to earth, and these two were worried about the political situation of Israel.
"But we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel."
But we had hoped ... How often have you heard a phrase like that?
"We were hoping the doctor would release him."
"I had hoped to pass the exam."
"We had hoped the surgery would get all the tumor."
"I thought the job was in the bag."
Words painted gray with disappointment. What we wanted didn't come. What came, we didn't want. The result? Shattered hope. The foundation of our world trembles.
We trudge up the road to Emmaus dragging our sandals in the dust, wondering what we did to deserve such a plight. "What kind of God would let me down like this?"
And yet, so tear-filled are our eyes and so limited is our perspective that God could be the fellow walking next to us and we wouldn't know it.
You see, the problem with our two heavy-hearted friends was not a lack of faith, but a lack of vision. Their petitions were limited to what they could imagine—an earthly kingdom. Had God answered their prayer, had he granted their hope, the Seven-Day War would have started two thousand years earlier and Jesus would have spent the next forty years training his apostles to be cabinet members. You have to wonder if God's most merciful act is his refusal to answer some of our prayers.
We are not much different than burdened travelers, are we? We roll in the mud of self-pity in the very shadow of the cross. We piously ask for his will and then have the audacity to pout if everything doesn't go our way. If we would just remember the heavenly body that awaits us, we'd stop complaining that he hasn't healed this earthly one.
Our problem is not so much that God doesn't give us what we hope for as it is that we don't know the right thing for which to hope. (You may want to read that sentence again.)
Hope is not what you expect; it is what you would never dream. It is a wild, improbable tale with a pinch-me-I'm-dreaming ending. It's Abraham adjusting his bifocals so he can see not his grandson, but his son. It's Moses standing in the promised land not with Aaron or Miriam at his side, but with Elijah and the transfigured Christ. It's Zechariah left speechless at the sight of his wife Elizabeth, gray-headed and pregnant. And it is the two Emmaus-bound pilgrims reaching out to take a piece of bread only to see that the hands from which it is offered are pierced.
Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed; no, it is far greater than that. It is a zany, unpredictable dependence on a God who loves to surprise us out of our socks and be there in the flesh to see our reaction.

we are never so high as when we are on our knees.

2010-07-04T19:48:00.003+10:00

i have learnt today that i just cant run away from God.

There is just something about Him that i need

and love.

2010-06-13T04:53:00.001+10:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNeOmrq37MI

i like!

2010-06-01T00:32:00.003+10:00

this is a good avenue to shout this out loud, without fearing that too many people will read. i'm guessing that no one reads this much anymore. except for people who cares/matter.

i am 22, turning 23 in a few months' time. you know what, i just cant wait to be found/find, get married and have as many God-loving kids as you will provide. please God, let this be Your plans for me.

okay, i may re-read this a few years down the road, and laugh at myself. or whoever that is reading this, you may be laughing right now.

but i think i should still post this.

happyfying

2010-05-29T04:07:00.005+10:00

picnicpartiesinsecretgardens;twirlsofherdress; boatrideswithyou; comfortablesilence; castlesinthefairytales; invitinghammocks; cheesecakelices; strengthofagoodcoffee; dramaticblooms; thewarmthofmycheeksafterarun; eleganceofasimplewhitedress; trottingponies&horses; sleepylazyafternoons; abookthaticantputdown; headbobbingtoamelody; nostalgia; gentlepurple; bigsummerstrawhats; putaflowerinmyhair; englishsconesathightea; colourfulheliumballoons; abedofcushions&pillows; thesweetmacaroons; preciousoldfriends.

2010-05-24T22:30:00.002+10:00

i want to visit a castle

i want to catch up with old friends

i want to explore the world He has created

so we will make it to europe.

nuggets of wisdom

2010-04-16T01:48:00.003+10:00

me: i dunu, i get frustrated when i feel that we dont try hard enough
Dr L: the first thing is we must not think we can save ppl
Dr L: we can do our best to facilitate the healing process, ultimate its the creator who has made them and whether they recover or not, can we say its fully in our hands. what is hard enoguh though?
there alot fo factors when it comes to deciding to stop treatment.
for one, what is the patients best interest, prolonged suffering or peaceful death
not that we induce death, but by not treating we do not prolong suffering.and then there's resources as well, if u worked in India, its probable that alot more people would not be able to get 100% full treatment . not that no one cares, but its just not fesaible. i used to judge my bosses when they make decisions, but they've got way more experience and they probably have thought through the same things we are thinking about. their journey of dicovery could not have been easier than ours. but hey know this, its a priviledge that we have to make a difference in a persons life. the responsibilty can be overbearing but its rewarding too. focus on the positive.

2010-04-16T01:27:00.002+10:00

i am subconciously looking for ways to cheer myself up.. ella enchanted and disney advertisements. and look what i chanced upon: the most beautiful castles of the world.

i really really want to go and check them out.

2010-04-16T00:44:00.003+10:00

sometimes when i auscultate my patient's lungs,

i will catch the sound of their heart pumping

and then i will remember to ask: what are our hearts beating for?

our heart beats to pump blood through our body

the blood that gives us life.

oh sigh,

the blood of Jesus Christ.

missing

2010-04-16T00:39:00.002+10:00

i seldom blog about materialistic wants, or do i?

but anyway, i really really want to buy a cross pendant

i am still sad that i dropped mine mysteriously in melbourne

"Go Light Your World", so sings Chris Rice.

2010-04-15T23:31:00.002+10:00

the hardest people to love

are those who are

emotionally disabled.

how did you do it Jesus?

tonight is a good night.

2010-04-12T00:01:00.002+10:00

tonight is a good night.

i have been feeling busy for as long as i can remember, and tonight, i have finally found time to be alone, just doing nothing. i really love this moment - just lying in my bed, browsing through articles and columns. i like hearing people's opinions and views about things, and ruminate about it in my head. it's alike having a conversation with them over a cup of good skinny latte.

tonight, i just want to be His little girl. Listen to Him tell me some stories about Himself, just be still and hear what He has to say. Tell me stories, Father, and teach me to be someone whom You will be proud of. there is this warm fuzzy feeling that has filled my heart tonight, and it's because i know You are here in my life. my heart's desire is You Lord, and will you let it be You only?

and i want to be a child of God, a woman of God. one who is humbled by Him, and one who draws confidence from Him. i want to be persistent in the passions that God has laid upon my heart - to act justly, to love mercy and to be moved by compassion. i know these are big words for a small girl, but i trust my God, and i just need to be faithful with what little i have now.

ah i feel a tingling sense of happiness

right down to my toes.

nights as such,

makes my world bigger.

2010-04-11T23:53:00.003+10:00

i want to take a step closer to who God wants me to be each day.

i really do.

so God, as much as it may be tough, i mean this as i pray:

Take me and mould me. Dont forsake me, and when the going gets tough, Father, will you remind me of your presence? Your grace be sufficient for me, Your grace makes me perfect.

2010-04-09T01:46:00.001+10:00

oh what a messy turn out of events
that are leaving me feeeling so

silly.

2010-03-29T00:58:00.002+11:00

i cant wait for heaven.

tea party for two

2010-03-23T02:35:00.003+11:00

chocolate chip scones and lemon tea,

a tea party for two.

it's more similar than i thought,

He is indeed perfect in His timing.

EK0405, departing melbourne for singapore.

2010-03-21T15:41:00.003+11:00

it was a good flight.

we chased the sunset for a bit,

before we learned to fly among the clouds and the stars

appreciating the beauty of the shy twinkling amidst the darkness.

2010-02-28T03:06:00.001+11:00

pain throws your heart to the ground

love turns the whole thing around

i know the heart of life is good.

i know it's good.

2010-02-12T02:32:00.003+11:00

haven't blogged for a long long time :) this is likely the first blog of the year (or so i remembered). it's not just the blogging that i am losing touch with. i am getting too lazy to switch on the laptop or to get onto the internet. or perhaps it's the age.

and this is all that i want to type right now cos i want to sleep, or read my book. oh dear, am i really getting too old for blogs? or is this really an age thing?

though i have so much that i want to shout out.

back for good.

2010-01-16T15:50:00.002+11:00

here, good has two meanings. firstly it's being back indefinitely/ for a while to come/forever. secondly, being back is for the good of myself, for the good of the people around me, perhaps. Romans 8:28. i firmly believe that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. hence, though the fig tree does not bud, and though my wants and my dreams are not yet fulfilled, i will rejoice in the Lord.

in fact, i will give praise like never before.

1 kings 2:1-4

2010-01-05T22:44:00.000+11:00

2009-12-15T14:16:00.002+11:00

the end of the begining is over

and so it begins here.

they totally suck

2009-12-10T19:09:00.002+11:00

and thus the start of my career path - annoyed with the boss.

and hear me say. if they dont allow me to take leave come march for my graduation

i will.. hate them forever.

i might read back on this post and deem myself rather childish sounding.

but urgh, this is how i have been feeling for the last 24 hours.

2009-12-08T03:54:00.002+11:00

oh God, how do i make the lemon sweet?

2009-12-03T16:37:00.001+11:00

my mommy & sister is here,

and i suddenly feel...

5years younger.

2009-11-28T23:23:00.003+11:00

i will not let the good things in life get in the way of the best plans He has for me.

why i need to chase theemospirit away

2009-11-25T02:11:00.005+11:00

For those who have read Screwtape letters and know who Wormwood & Screwtape are, i can imagine such a letter written tonight. (hurhur.)

Dear Screwtape,

Today, Wormwood has learnt and achieved something. There is good sorrow and there is bad sorrow. There is sorrow that brings them closer to God and there is sorrow that draws them further away from God; and the latter is one powerful tool that we can use. There is a thin line between the two, and one must notice the difference between them. There is the grieve that causes repentance, and there is the grieve that refuses joy and comfort. The latter can spread like a virus - silently and unknowing to the host, it leeches on and multiplies from within. It spreads quickly, and is deadly. Master Screwtape, it is so easy for humans to become self-absorbed and wrapped up in their grieve, that they will only focus on their problems ahead, failing to notice the bigger God who is behind them. The tears clog up their eyes, magnify their awful circumstances and diminish the good God. They sulk and become restless. They become easily agitated, and are much easier to trick and to deceive.

Our work is easy when they become disconnected from God.

Wormwood.

2009-11-23T14:39:00.001+11:00

and she left on a jet plane.

the reality is setting in.

humans are amphibians?

2009-11-20T12:31:00.002+11:00

sometimes we try so hard, using our puny little heads to figure it all out. anyway, was brought to mind an interesting quote from a favourite author:

"Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time." - C.S. Lewis

2009-11-17T02:26:00.003+11:00

library trips, coffee dates.

movies & l4d sessions.

late night walks home.

you know i will miss them all.

when the rich meets the poor

2009-11-15T00:14:00.006+11:00

Burberry Umbrella, Fendi Bib, in the midst of India.

picture from Vogue.

interesting shots that provoked a lot of thoughts. brought to mind a lot of questions and guilt about finding the balance between shopping and spending and giving to the needy and the poor. Fendi or not, a bib is a bib; and a Burberry umbrella is but an umbrella. these hidden pieces of branded goods blends into the picture so well... that no one will give a second look if not for the fact that the photos were published in Vogue.

tattoo-ed.

2009-11-14T21:49:00.006+11:00

it was to write love on her arms day. and people were meant to literally write love on their arms to raise awareness for anti-depression. because not anti-depressants, but love is the cure for depression. for those who do not yet know, love carries a different meaning. but for those who know, love is from God, because God is love.

even since i was a kid, i didn't quite like the idea of doodling. perhaps it's because i like to be neat, or perhaps it's because i can't draw for nuts. (the second reason more likely.) doodles on my body definitely bothers me, which is why i sometimes write to-do's on my hand. it motivates me because i cant wait to scrub the scribblings off.

anyway, i half reluctantly wrote 'love' across my forearm. and then i thought, 'love' by itself looks rather meaningless if there isnt God in the picture. so i added 'God is' neatly on top, in a different colour, a darker colour that stands out a bit more.

surprisingly, the huge print on my forearm didn't bother me. in fact, i quite enjoy looking at it, and even reinforced the words today. i realised this: if it's something that i believe in, i don't mind carrying that brand forever on my skin - the 'God is Love' brand. now i am starting to understand why some people can bring themselves to tattoo. (not that i will. i still wouldnt.)

may God's love be imprinted on my heart forever more :)

2009-11-12T15:29:00.000+11:00

S: did you just call me? on the computer?

L: WAD? no.

S: oh.. nothing nothing. it was the drama i m watching. the phone rang.

L: HA HA HA HA.

S: shuks moment, i know.

2009-11-11T01:24:00.003+11:00

i need to know this: i am going where i am going because i chose and choose to follow Him. there's a bigger purpose to life than myself, because He loves me more than life.

RT @Jan "Obedience is the burial of the will and the resurrection of humility." - J Climacus

inYourtime.

2009-11-10T22:17:00.005+11:00

In His time, In His time

He makes all things beautiful in His time

Lord, please show me everyday

as You're teaching me Your way

and i'll do just what You say

in Your time.

if i can, if i may,

i will run to Your arms right now,

and let You hold me tight.

creature of habit.

2009-11-10T18:05:00.005+11:00

in no order of appearance, things i do daily for the past week:

-snooze my alarm 10million times and wake up after 830am.

-level 5, right most corner

-wins my gchat war with C.

-study. yawn. study.

- heave a sigh and get carried away thinking about life

-coffee, lunch, coffee & dinner

-an episode of 'beyond realm of conscience'/'palace schemes' (cool people will know what i am talking about) and more than one episode of bigbangtheory

-go to sleep, or so i try.

such a creature of habit i have been.

so why am i not sheldon but leonard on the facebook quiz?!

random *-inspired thoughts

2009-11-09T18:58:00.003+11:00

i was the lucky one who took the last hand towel, so i get to dry my hands without using the noisy dryer. i praised God silently for my 'luck' as i looked into the mirror. then, a sudden thought struck me.. if, say IF.. a tsunami is soon to hit and the last helicopter available for escape has only one space left. it's your seat to take, but the people left behind are yet to know Jesus. will you give up your seat to a pre-saved, or will you just keep the seat for yourself and praise God for it?

while i wait.

2009-11-09T16:55:00.003+11:00

i almost forgot this:

Steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.
- S. D. Gordon

to be steadfast, patient, expectant, obedient and listening while i wait.

3moredays.

2009-11-09T16:39:00.002+11:00

i cant wait for exams to end

feel the grass between my toes

hear the emotions behind the music

sip on an iced lemonade

bathe in the sun and yet not worry about the heat

learn to swim, go horseriding again

dream empty dreams

watch a chick flick and be able to laugh out loud

because i will not be watching it behind these 4 walls of silence.

seeyoulater.

2009-11-09T13:01:00.003+11:00

some die earlier than others. some die later than others. lately, i have this thought that i dont think i will live long. i can actually feel it in my guts sometimes. maybe it's a good thing, cos i wouldnt have the time to forget everything i have lived for. then my life will flash pass me as i close my eyes. then i wouldnt stare blankly at unfamiliar faces crying around me and wonder who they are. instead i will hold their hands and smile and wish them all the best. see you later, i will say.

sorry, i just watched the curious case of benjamin button.

can i whine here

2009-11-08T22:54:00.003+11:00

the heat. the walls. the lack of windows. the stuffiness. the extra guest at my house. the lack of personal space. it's making me go into a full fledge p-m-s mood. where's a lame joke to make some laughs when yu need it? who's there to make me laugh or let me punch?

ephiphany

2009-11-08T15:45:00.001+11:00

epiphany of the day: we are, all of us are, living the story we are going to tell our kids in the future!

the endless encouraging truths that sustain.

2009-11-08T00:57:00.003+11:00

soon and very soon,
my King is coming.

and until then, its the promises and the endless encouraging truths that helps to sustain us.
You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.
Is 26:3-4
though i have not seen Him,

my heart knows Him well.

2009-11-07T16:15:00.002+11:00

had the impulse to read proverbs 31 today, and felt encouraged by verse 25:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come."

Shuks 22

2009-11-06T23:49:00.004+11:00

In John 11, the death of Lazarus probably broke the hearts of Mary and Martha - that they have to say their goodbyes so prematurely. Ah, such grief they must have been in, and i bet nothing their fr friends say or do can bring about comfort. You know, Martha knew the theologies, she had, after all, learnt much from Jesus Himself. She knew that God will give Jesus whatever He asks, she knew that Jesus will resurrect at the last day, and so will her brother. But yet, Jesus had to ask her again: do you believe in what you thought you already knew?

Perhaps Jesus is asking me the same question. Perhaps this is the lesson for me to learn. It has come to a point whereby, i cannot go on by just quoting encouraging bible verses. Theology needs to transpose into personal belief and conviction. I need to believe, i need to commit.

So... mind, heart and soul. Intellectually, i need to take captive of my thoughts. In my heart, i need to allow room for comfort and peace. And as for my soul, His Spiritual Presence never leaves me.

With these, i start the chapter of Shuks 22.

2009-11-06T23:30:00.002+11:00

My existence is pathetic, sad, and ugly without God's presence.

When You found me, my whole world change.

I am redeemed by Your life.

Let the world see -

You're freedom, turned my darkness into light.

You welcome me in, with open arms, into unending life.

Your power, your love that saved my soul,

now i'm alive in You.

2009-11-04T01:25:00.000+11:00

A mature Christian has capacity to absorb the offenses and weaknesses of others, not just demand they perform up to the code of ideals.

2009-11-01T01:52:00.001+11:00

my wish

to be

Daddy's

strong

little

girl.

2009-10-31T18:25:00.002+11:00

it's silly how i feel sadder as we grow older.

goodbye school, goodbye youth, goodbye ocf, goodbye friends.

2009-10-28T18:30:00.001+11:00

every year we getting closer who we're gonna be,

it's time to celebrate the story of how we want to be.

2009-10-26T23:44:00.001+11:00

while i m glad i am more disciplined than ever

i am also sad i am missing out on memorable events :(

happy birthday steven nonetheless :)

2009-10-26T21:16:00.002+11:00

For every hill I've had to climb,

For every stone that bruised my feet,

For all the blood and sweat and grime,

For blinding storms and burning heat,

My heart sings but a grateful song-

These were the things that made me strong.

psalm 51

2009-10-21T00:19:00.002+11:00

Create in me a pure heart, o God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

2009-10-20T02:25:00.001+11:00

as trying as it may be, i am waiting for his 'immeasurably more'.

2009-10-17T01:37:00.002+11:00

and thus concluded the final day of lectures. 5 exams, 2 assignments, 1 week of clinical placements. and hopefully, if i do pass, that will be all. God, please let that be all. the end of the marathon is so near.

2009-10-15T01:26:00.002+11:00

one of these days, actually, one of those days after my exams, i will do a super mega emo post filled with pictures and captions, to remind myself of the life i had lived here in melbourne :) better try to remember now, than later. sadly, i might have already forgotten a big part of it.

a random thought.

2009-10-15T00:54:00.002+11:00

haven't quite penned my thoughts here in a long time, perhaps because the pace of life has been so quick and so fast since... (i cant actually remember when?) the next two weeks are going to be more tiring, more difficult, more fast-paced. but i am confident things will go alright. although i cant comprehend logically how i am going to manage, but deep inside, there is a sense of peace, a reliance on God for Him to make all things right while i made a silent promise to do my best.

and lately, there is something about music and good songs that speaks to my soul. i often wish i know the language of music a little better.

cell retreat '09, a road to remember.

2009-10-09T15:21:00.003+11:00

alex's brilliant idea of detouring to mount dandenong makes everyone very silly & happy! braving the cold for the wonderful view, fitting into the giant chair, miss marples, scary puppets in the toy shop, jumping/runing shots, pie in the sky, lolly shop. as it hails and it rains, we sped off to mornington in search of the sun.

a 5 minute break at this magnificent lookout, where only the braved ones dare venture out. against the cold wind that slaps the breath out of you, we took pictures 1,2,3.

day2. enchanted maze, reminds me of the movie enchanted! only that we attempted to make a music video to the song 'a whole new world'. laughters giggles confused directors. aren't we glad none of us did theatre studies? some enthu act-smart ones tried to challenge the real maze, only to fail. muddy soil, drizzling rain, brr, lousy weather, but still loads to thank God for.

check out our cell's crazy spice & ginger spice: lucy & audge

ended up with a barbecue that night. attempts to visit the hot springs failed, despite several calls & attempts to book :( anyhow, crazy ka-ra-o-ke session that night, with people getting high on music. especially david mafat and his yells of "air supply air supply air supply" no pictures, but loads of interesting videos.

day3: time to go, but we couldnt resist stopping by the beach. after all, what's a trip to mornington without going to the beach. one volleyball, ten people, many peekture shots. lunch at springvale, and back to the city.

ozymandias

2009-09-22T01:10:00.004+10:00

the first day of my gerontology (i.e. taking care of older people) placement was at an aged care facility near camberwell. i felt rather confronted, and once again reminded, that life is indeed fleeting. there are about 60 residents altogether. some are wheelchair bound because of brittle bones & weak muscles, dealing with the painful knowledge of their disability. while some others are trapped in a world of their own, not even recognising their family members & loved ones. and then.. there are those more unfortunate ones who are a combination of both. they lie in bed, waiting for time to pass. you think it's easy to accept their decline. after all, they are nearly a century old. but when you step into their rooms, and give them a little more attention than you normally would.. you will notice that on their walls hang countless (yes, countless) pictures & photos that tell their life story. one of the old man who could barely take a step was a professor at melbuni, a well respected academic who had published several papers. another grumpy old guy that is constantly sliding off his chair was a top notched lawyer. and then there is that poor old lady who peed in her pants as we stood her up - she looked so pretty & happy in her wedding dress. the photos spoke of their achievements, they spoke of their youth. and the ironic/sad thing is.. they contrast sharply with reality.

and tonight, i finally caught UP. the movie begins with the story of a young boy. a young boy with dreams of adventure & found more than what he was asking for. he found love, happiness. and you thought disney movies always end with happily ever after. nopes, it ends with grief, loss & pain. i am not satisfied that his loss is replaceable by his newfound friendship. i still maintain that the story is one that is sad.

anyhow, a sonnet that i read years.. and years ago called ozymandias was brought to mind:

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

and then i read ecc 1 just so i can vent. indeed, solomon is wise - everything is meaningless, as he said/sang. even the search of knowledge is meaningless & vanity. let us instead, put our efforts into better investments, investing into the riches that are eternal, where rust & moths cannot destroy. let us get our perspectives right.

2009-09-19T01:45:00.004+10:00

i used to get very emo listening to emo songs such as rachel yamagata's i wish you love. nowadays, i get emo listening to worship songs. hurr. i think i am still struggling to come to terms with the heart ache of having to leave. i am still whining to God about it, silently hoping that i can stay, somehow. oh well, the opportunity came a few weeks ago, about the same time as the entire eviction deal. but yu know what God, as much as i feel sad about it, i know this is but for as long as it will last. i have decided, and i am resolved, to wait upon you Lord. i will be obedient to wherever yu call me to. i will go to where yu have called me. and yu will not send me to where your grace does not cover me. so i will not take the offer. nopes, i will not. as much as i am tempted, i will not. la dee da. last ltc retreat in a few hours time. excited & happy to witness His work in the lives of my fellow race partners. i will cheer you, you & you on, hoping only the best for you.

2009-09-18T16:06:00.003+10:00

due to my lack of time management, cant say no attitude & disregard of my own limits, i often find myself placed in situations where i have too little time and too much to do. and when i cant push it off anymore, i get all panickly and pray - such a recurrent theme in my life. hurhur.

so i tell myself today, that is it. some old habits have to change and the time to change for the better is always NOW. okay, so no more procrastination & stop blogging now! but it's good i typed out my thoughts. it helps to clear my head a little. and the little conversation going on right now in my head is: if yu dont finish what yu're supposed to be doing today, shuks, yu are missing steamboat dinner & cell bonding time, and dun forget yu already didnt have lunch. ah okay i m going to continue ticking off my to-do-list now.

to-do's before the decemeber.

2009-09-18T01:12:00.005+10:00

horseriding, as inspired by BOF. play mahjong in melbourne, something i told myself i would do 4 years ago. watch the sunrise/sunset from st kilda beach, or attempt to. play soccer with cell girls (i dreamt of it! hopefully in 10years' time, we will be sitting on the bench togther while we watch our kids play soccer heee!) eat the sashimi buffet at 133... something road. have a sleepover and watch (at least) 2 disney movies before dozing off. bake. cook. throw an ice cube at someone. sabo yen and get him real bad (even if i cant accomplish it durng his birthday, i will just randomly do it myself i have to). visit my list of cafes & restuarants to eat at. meet up with all my good friends and give them big emotional hugs. spend more time with betty & charlene. oh my gosh, meet up with jianxin! do something about my empty fish bowl, where sunshine & snow-white used to live in. eat kinderbuenos & tintams x10 each. sit on a safeway trolley and be wheeled around. dota with intelligent people.

ps:non-exhaustive.

2009-09-13T02:54:00.003+10:00

getting a little too excited / nervous / excited to sleep. cliche as it sounds, i cant put to words how i feel in this moment. it's just looking at how it was, and how it has become and thinking of how it will be.. it takes courage & strength, perseverance & focus. but yah, a milestone it is. ahh bah kaarhhhs blue ppooopp harr keee! that was.. for lack of an expression. eeeeks.

my fairy tale

2009-09-10T17:14:00.002+10:00

"dont you try to make me worry. my fairytale has already started, i am living in it. i dont know the details of the story.. but i do know the ending, because i know the author." proof that i can stand up for myself when i get burnt (:

my song

2009-09-09T16:41:00.003+10:00

the lyrics spoke to me.

boxing up

2009-09-08T10:06:00.000+10:00

in face of the imminent eviction by MICM, i woke up a little earlier in an attempt to do a little bit of packing. i've obviously chosen the wrong place to start, because my carboard box was still empty by the end of the hour. thinking that i should first put away 'un-needed' items, i started with my 'happybox'. my 'happybox' is a bit like a box used to store up memories for myself. camptags, concert tickets, polaroids, littlenotes, cards, little trinkets, journals and even chocolate wrappers...

God has comforted me this morning, perhaps a reward for forcing myself to pack, to move on. He has been faithful through it all. Not only had he answered the prayers i prayed when i first came to Melbourne, but His blessings upon me were more than i had asked for. Ha. On the first day that i reached melbourne, I remembered crying to God and asking Him for one good friend. He answered, in His due time.

Holding onto the sweetness of God, i have courage to face tomorrow :)

God with us.

2009-09-08T00:53:00.004+10:00

i will never understand,

how humbling it was for You to be with us.

a love so great,

only You can give.

my heart cries out,

glory to You alone.

God with us.

titanic 2, coming soon.

2009-09-07T01:35:00.001+10:00

i was.. lost for words when i saw this.

end of a begining

2009-09-04T12:27:00.003+10:00

you see, when i made the committment to join ocf, it wasn't for a 3 year timeframe... it doesnt end the moment i graduate, and it will not end from the first friday i stop going. neither will it end the moment i leave melbourne. the vision of ocf is meant to last a lifetime - reach out build up send back. send back. wherever it may be, and wherever that God brings me to, the mandate continues. because it's God's mandate for me that i have understood through OCF. the 'send back phase' is about to begin, and i pray i will be ready for it. i pray i will be steadfast & faithful. i pray i will run the race with perseverance.

perhaps it's only the end of a begining.

pizza party please

2009-09-02T02:09:00.007+10:00

behold! another new dish to my what-shuks-can-cook list. and guess whose pizza won the night's best pizza contest? obviously my UBP unidentified baked pizza, also known as the best pizza.

this is not the way it should be.

2009-09-01T14:33:00.002+10:00

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisperd in the sounds of silence.

'scourge of the poor'

2009-09-01T14:22:00.003+10:00

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/07/29/world/20090729ARGENTINA_11.html

"They return with nothing, to the same place that made them sick"

the story of Mr Eche makes me wonder if the solution to drug abuse lies in police raids & stricter laws. maybe it's not the drug dealers & abusers that they need to fight.

2009-08-31T23:32:00.002+10:00

wencheng: shuks, you are graduating soon! if you graduate from uni single, the chances of getting married drops drastically.

clement: expired shuks.

jiahlit: shuk's market value very low.

joey: ha ha ha

thanks for the encouragement. (:

130909; 4.00pm.

2009-08-31T15:49:00.006+10:00

AHHHHHHHHHH. everytime i think about the great immersion, my stomach does a 360degrees cartwheel and my fingers tingle and my nose twitches and i cant stop smiling to myself and i will talk faster than the rocket with no punctuations. gasp for breath. yes this is how excited i get. sorry i know melbourne is experiencing a drought but i really want to practice in my bathtub, in case i breathe in water and choke. must make sure this moment is video-perfect. :)

you're getting married!

2009-08-31T12:20:00.002+10:00

:) congrats miss B.

i know you have been anticipating this day for some time. i am so happy for you! in fact i am jumping up & down, up & down when i saw yur message, and then screaming silent shrieks of 'praise God praise God'! hee :)

Is 61; the works of Jesus.

2009-08-30T15:28:00.006+10:00

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generations.

Aliens will shepherd your flocks;

foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

And you will be called priests of the LORD,

you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations,

and in their riches you will boast.

Instead of their shame

my people will receive a double portion,

and instead of disgrace

they will rejoice in their inheritance;

and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,

and everlasting joy will be theirs.

"For I, the LORD, love justice;

I hate robbery and iniquity.

In my faithfulness I will reward them

and make an everlasting covenant with them.

Their descendants will be known among the nations

and their offspring among the peoples.

All who see them will acknowledge

that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

I delight greatly in the LORD;

my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with garments of salvation

and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,

as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,

and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

For as the soil makes the sprout come up

and a garden causes seeds to grow,

so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise

spring up before all nations.

i hope we remember what Jesus did,

and what we are called to do.

Let us not forget the diversity of the world,

the needs of those around us.

sweet saturday!

2009-08-29T15:25:00.002+10:00

one of those days when i feel completely at peace irregardless of what's going on around me. sweet saturday started with dench bakery. seeking Him who knows me inside out. little nuggets of happiness in doing my laundry & organising my room. guitar playing and going on to finish up some work. strike off the items on my to-do-list.

must remember to keep this balance.

good old times.

2009-08-27T17:51:00.002+10:00

i have a phobia of aging, because i... i have this syndrome, whereby..

if i grow old, i will die. haha.

good old times, good old times.