movingon,lettinggo. mythoughts have been of that and about that for a few weeks now, and i still haven't quite come to terms with it. maybe there is something the matter with me. L says on her blog - think less, love more. i think it's the opposite with me, i should love less and think more. i dont know if that's right but i guess life will be a lot easier.

dreamsareforweaving. i woke up to a strangely happyfying dream this morning, and spent the next 2 hours willing myself to continue the dream. but it didnt work. bought a tshirt that says: live 2 dream from chaddie yesterday. i think i am strange & weird like P. i am easily contented & amused with the simple things of life, but yet, i have big dreams of changing the world through my small hands. while i am readily contented with a family of my own, i also want to travel the world, fight poverty, child abuse, sex trade and spread the gospel to the ends of the world.

closure. R needed a closure from R to move on, in either direction. since i can't rely on alcohol, i will need double portions of courage and an escape route. K says that FRIENDS is a reflection of what we want in life - for me, not quite, perhaps just some parts. disney still rocks my socks because you can always rely on a happy ending, although i do realise that it's a tad toooo far from reality, or maybe not. J, please come again quickly, but but but, please wait till more people are saved!

and as i type now, L is leaving on a jetplane. i miss her already, strangely. the knowledge of not having her around weakens me. but anyhow, thanks for the friendship which makes so much difference.