when the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. it is possible to run away from the desire for a dinner/lunch, sometimes even a few days, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. it keeps touching us in little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments. even though we sleep, our desires does not - it is the essence of who we are.
i have come to a crossroad whereby i am forcing myself to continue walking, letting go of some desires, some hopes and some dreams, some parts of the familiar old me that i have grown used to. i know it will be alright eventually and paths will be made straight, but i need to surender myself to Him now in order to rediscover myself.

dont look back, just follow Him.