as long as it takes.

and He answered: as long as it takes for you to realise I am who I am.

as long as it takes to break me down
as long as it takes for me to turn my eyes upon Him, to refocus, to remember to cry out to Him.

(:

and so my soul rejoice.

dis-satisfcatory

hey

i dont know why, but i was feeling really emo today.
i stood at the intersection of elizabeth & la trobe today,
feeling worn out and tired
wondering where i am gonna find the strength to struggle through the rest of the year
and the crowds move in such synchrony, directed by the traffic lights.
green = go. red = stop.
if only life is likedat - green, red, green, red. definite seasons of rest & work.
i feel like i am in a need for a rest.
a time where i can just do what i enjoy.
a time where i can just sit back chill read a book pray and listen to His songs learn the guitar play tennis shoot some hoops dribble the ball watch a NBA or soccer game lie on the grass and count the stars

i feel so tired.
melbourne feels so different this year.
the people i held so dear in my heart's kind of gone, or have moved on to a different phase of life.
the people i held so dear, i have to learn to let go.

God, i know it will eventually be alright
but.. just how long is it going to take before everything will be alright?

urgh.

hey you know what?

i had a really terrible day in clinics. everything that can possibly go wrong went wrong. but i m trying to calm the storms in my heart, learn to take it in my stride because i trust that God is in control - and everything that He plans is going to be best for me. all things work for good to them that love God. last year, God has taught me that if i depend on Him & stay close to Him, His favour will be upon me. the days that were started with prayer & devotions always end up well, while those days that i drifted away from him ends up miserable. a call from a happyfriend praising God for God's works in his workplace reminds me again that yes - God is in control.

we praise Him in all circumstances. all circumstances. we dont come to God only because we need His favour and blessings. we need to try our best to be faithful.

God always turn my frown into smiles :) heee.

fire

the news are making me feel really upset.
bushfires have been rampant in victoria lately,
and my heart really aches for the people affected.

yes i understand that trials & sufferings are here for a reason,
but Lord - please be more gentle with these people.

are we doing enough to help?
can we do more?

i am going to pray & fast for these victims.
because i believe that my God is a compassionate God who is crying buckets right now as He sees His children suffer.

i had an inexhuastible todolist..but tonight, i decided to give myself a rest.

take some time out,
snuggle up
read a book
in the background of compassionart
a cup of hot chocolate

i have nearly forgotten how good it feels to be alone.