Sunday, March 29

i love you God

deny myself and take up the cross daily
learn to love God above my parents and myself
evangelise firstly because i love God, secondly because i love His people

i had a rom1:20 moment today.

there is something about winter that attracts me -
it's nice to know that while it's all cold outside,
what keeps us alive is our heart pumping warm blood throughout.

it's nice to know that while the world is fallen and troubled,
what keeps us hopeful and under grace is the blood of Jesus Christ.

perfect love,please drive out all fear

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/#1


i hope that they reunite in heaven.

i dont know why, but i uncontrollably sobbed when i read the blog. it puts me to shame, makes me realise how little i treasure what matters most to me. it makes me realise that there are so much sadness, bittersweet sadness in the time we have here. it makes me feel so small, so little. i wish i can do more. and suddenly, tears gushes down.
and i wept.

i really wept my haert out
for those who have lost their children
for those who have lost their parents
for those who feel like they are alone
for those who hates life
for those who dont know God
for those who know who God is but still hates life
for those who feels empty and discontented with what life has to bring daily
for those who are lost, who are struggling with things that seem to big for them
for those who are uncertain and unsure
for those who have lost themselves in busy schedules and routines
for myself

tonight i cried.
i cried and i cried and i cried
and i wont hold back
or pretend i am strong, pretend to be someone who i want to be

i want to cry
and i want to cry and cry and cry.

what if i dont see you in heaven?
what if i go to heaven and realise you all are not there?
then will it still be heaven for me?
it's supposed to be but then will sadness still find me there if you are not there?
who will ease me fears
God, will you?

Wednesday, March 18

with love and strength
for each new day
He will make a way

Sunday, March 15

results from a recent personality test:

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


not bad. rather true.

greatest fears

i thought a little about what my greatest fears are today
and wow, did it haunt me and scare me
then did i realise a lot of my actions are governed by my fears,
a lot of my motivation of daily activities are subconciously shaped to ease my fears

perfect love drives out all fear

Wednesday, March 11

an ode to B

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM FOR YOU!

ah the memories are playing in my head, like a film without sound. since 12, B, we've shared our lives with each other - perhaps there were periods when we drifted further apart.. but yet, we've never failed to hold on together somehow. perhaps we are no longer as involved in the minute details of each other's lives.. but when it comes to major events as this, i am so glad you called.

and i cant explain how i feel! i am so excited for you B! but yet there is a tingling sense of sadness, a pang in my heart that i cant quite explain. it's silly to think or feel this way, i know. but... it feels as though our walk together has come to an end - i feel like a daddy walking his daughter down the aisle. i am giving away one of my bestest friends, to someone better, i am sure. i am happy for you B. i do share in your joy. but it's just that i feel sad for myself at the same time.

lost times are but memories.
and memories suddenly doesnt seem enough for me.
i am running out of time.
the clock will strike midnight
and she will be gone.
so easy to love God because He is perfect in every way.
so difficult to love the people He created because we are flawed in almost every way. J once said that if you love God, you will love His people - they go hand in hand. i nodded my head in agreement. but recently, i have my doubts. i love God deeply; but the contrasting fallen nature of men puts me off - such that i am dangerously becoming cynical. it's taking more effort to love lately. what's gone wrong with me? what's going on? why am i failing to see the beauty of His creations? what happened to grace, mercy & love?

some trust in chariots and some in horses;
but we will remember the name of the LORD our God
.
- Ps20:7

Tuesday, March 10

dancing with my God

since this year, i have realised that God is to stay in my life, forever.
yes, there will surely be seasons of struggle, times that i will stumble and deem myself unable to walk on anymore.. but i know that during those times, i will never fall too deep nor stray too far. i will never be beyond God's reach.

for i have tasted and seen how sweet it is to be dancing with my loving God.

Monday, March 9

until the day

when i walk through suffering
let it a offering
like a fragrance rising

in the valley of shadows
not to waste myself in sorrows
but to trust in our Lord

until the day
when You wipe away every tear
You will hold me, carry me

until the day
when You take away every fear
no more suffering
who can imagine?

so i will trade my sorrows for the joy of knowing you

Wednesday, March 4

identity

perhaps the reason why personality tests are often so popular is because we find it difficult to understand ourselves. my likes and dislikes, passions and disinterests changes from day to day, time to time. regardless of foodcravings, sportsinterest or what i want to do in the future, i just cant seem to make up my mind. is it koreanfood or a nice pasta? is it soccer or basketball? is it melbourne or singapore? am i contented with being a mere physio? and there are questions that i havent dare to ask myself.. will i want to commit myself now to the possibility of a year of mission trip? will i want to build a church? adopt a child? do i want to study some more, perhaps a totally different course? what exactly do i want? will i ever be contented and satisfied with what life has to offer me? how driven am i to achieve my dreams and achievements? what does big dreams mean, if they only remain as dreams?

i often feel like i can do more more more and more. i have many wants and many desires - but which one is in tune with what God desires for me to do? i am yet to discover.

uncertainty & lost.